Updated: Feb 10, 2020
Whether it’s due to the influence of television and film or even social media, a narrative exists that once you hit your thirties life magically falls into place. You’re slaying in the workplace. You've miraculously managed to boast the work ethic of Beyonce. And your love life is absolutely flourishing. Unfortunately, this is far from reality. Our thirties can be a rocky time in just about any woman's life, and this turmoil can lead to uncertainty and a lack of motivation.
If you find yourself in your thirties and you’re feeling stagnant, unmotivated, and downright perplexed about the future, let these gems from author/wellness coach Brandi Harvey and mental health expert La Shell Wooten serve as inspiration to slay in your thirties.
“Stop being afraid of therapy. Digging up emotional wounds and past traumas can be hard and painful, but part of getting unstuck is getting to the root cause of the pain that has kept us stuck and stagnant. So much of our stuff that we carry around with us is from our childhood. And we spend so much time trying to recover from the childhood wounds that we've been carrying, that it makes it hard for us to level up as adults, come into our own, and bridge that gap. And so the first thing I would say is stop being afraid of therapy. Counseling has definitely been a thing that has saved my life. I've made a weekly commitment to therapy. I have for over a year and a half, now that I go weekly. But when I started my journey in therapy it'll be two years consistently in March.” - Brandi Harvey
Find Both A Business & Personal Mentor
“Two kinds of mentors that we need as we go into our thirties: one is a career/business mentor. Someone who can really guide us around the proper steps to take so we're not sort of wasting a lot of time or going in the wrong direction based off of our own assumption about what we should do to get where we're trying to go with our business or in our career.
And then you need a personal mentor. Someone who's sort of like a godparent kind of person. And that you usually can find in your own personal circles. Or even sometimes you can find personal mentors through your work. That person who's probably in their fifties, maybe in their sixties who has climbed the corporate ladder. Or who is your best friend's aunt who every time you see her when you're with your friends or at a family event with them, that aunt has great, amazing advice to give. And she sort of lived the life that you want to live. She's traveled. She's been married. She's divorced. Her kids are raised and doing well. She seems to be secure financially in terms of heading into retirement. She maybe changed careers a few times. Maybe lived in a few different places. Has had sort of a full life.
Mentoring in your thirties, it looks different. It's like you kind of have an idea of where you want to go. Maybe you meet with the career mentor once or twice a year. Or even have a conversation or a detailed email exchange where they could give you pointers and tips about ‘Yeah, you should go in that direction. Or hey, why don't you reach out to this person and get an informational?’ And then the mentor that you need personally in your life, that's also a person you don't need to see and be sitting at the hem of their gown every week. Someone when you're at a crossroads about something...That is when you reach out to them.” - La Shell Wooten
Elevate Your Circle
“Get a tribe that forces you to level up. We are the sum of the people we spend the majority of our time with. Elevate your circle and you will elevate your life. No one can walk through life alone. Make sure you're walking with people headed in the direction of success. I think so many times we look at the people around us and we carry people with us. ‘Well, we’ve been friends for 20 years, 30 years.’ But everybody’s still doing the same thing, having the same conversation, going the same places. And if you want your life to level up, you're gonna have to get a tribe that forces you to level up.
Success is about being around people that that are better than you. Whether that's in the gym. Whether that’s on your job. Whether that's in business. Whether those are mentors. People that you are spending your time with help you to level up. I love how Dr. Dennis Kimbro says ‘You hang around nine broke people, trust you'll be the tenth.’ I think that when we spend our time with people we have to understand how valuable our time is by how important those people are to sharpen us or dull our blade for life.” - Brandi Harvey
Recruit A Financial Consultant
“One of the final tips I would say is really get solid financial advice, separate from all the rest. Where should I be saving? Because you're 30. You’re happy. You're healthy. You’re doing your thing. You're going to want to travel. And you want to see the world. And you want to buy a new car or buy a home. That’s all amazing and fantastic, but we need real, solid financial advice. Not from our cousin who is single with no kids and makes $250,000 a year. That’s just not realistic to most people. You want to actually contact and set yourself up with a financial adviser who can say ‘Hey, you need to invest in your 401K. This is how much you need to save from every paycheck. These are things you need to do to make sure you don't get smacked by Uncle Sam, during tax season.’
We really need sound financial advice in our thirties because fifties will be there in a flash. And you’ll look around and be like ‘Wait a minute. I didn’t really save anything. I don’t really own anything.' And I’m looking at ‘I don’t really wanna work much longer, but I don’t know how I would feed myself when I do decide to stop working.’
I think everyone should have a financial consultant that they keep with them through their thirties. Because the choices you make in your thirties, with the earning power you have in your thirties—Because you’re young enough not to be struck by age-ism in the workforce. But you’re old enough not to seem like a silly, brand-new co-ed that just got out of college. The earning power is super-strong in your thirties. And so, you want to make the right choices when you’re at a level that your earning power should be pretty high. Because once you hit your forties...your earning power switches from what you can make from a company to what you have to make for yourself.” - La Shell Wooten
You can catch both Brandi Harvey and La Shell Wooten at the Glow In OM summit, which will take place from April 25 to April 28 at the Miraval Resort & Spa in Tucson, Arizona.