#QuarantineandChill: An Interview with Online Dating Coach Tera Stidum
“I want to help people get out of their own way when it comes to online dating,” says Tera Stidum, Founder of She Dates Savvy. As an online dating guru, she helps women navigate the often-confusing world of digital dating by providing support and encouragement, much like your best friend would.
Before she met her husband online, Tera enjoyed the ease of online dating because it allowed her to control the narrative of what she was looking for, and it worked with her busy lifestyle. As a single mother and a TV producer, time was not something she could afford to waste. She made the initial contact with her husband online, and in him, she found one of her biggest supporters.
The idea of starting She Dates Savvy first started as she was discussing her engagement with one of her friends. Her friend was excited about this new chapter in Tera’s life but didn’t believe that she herself could find love online. Tera decided that she was going to teach other women how to understand and master online dating. She told her fiancée the idea about a workshop thinking it would be just a one-time thing, but he encouraged her to think bigger. He saw a thriving business model around this idea and helped her come up with a name that would be easy to search online. He then helped her get an LLC and allowed her to focus on what she knew best, being Tera.
She says that the first year of starting her business was hard; having to juggle her full-time job with her passion baby, by working with clients before and after work. “That first year was about the grind, now it’s about consistency.” Tera lets her clients know, that much like a friend, they can reach out to her at any time, and she will get back to them as soon as possible. She understands how scary it can be when a new message hits your inbox or you’re asked out on your first date.
As a woman that has tried online dating and hates it, I asked Tera if she has any tips for me during Quarantine and post-Quarantine. She first asked me what sites I’m on, and my age.
Tip #1:Try Different Sites to Discover The Right One For You
Apps such as Bumble are matchmaking intuitive services, so the user does not get to dictate her matches, they are randomly selected, which is fine if you prefer quicker matches. Tera suggested that I try Match which allows me to have more control over who comes my way.
Tip #2: Make sure that your profile represents your best YOU
She said that a lot of women do not believe in online dating and are not excited about the process. This lack of enthusiasm shows through in our profile so we attract potential partners who are also not excited and aren't looking for a serious commitment. She offered to look at one of my online profiles to see where she could advise me to make some changes. I did feel encouraged knowing that someone could help guide me on what I could be doing better.
Tip #3: Make online dating fun
During our Breathe by OMNoire virtual retreat on April 10th, Tera suggested that we get a #quarantinebae, which is someone for you to talk to if you are feeling lonely. This person is not meant to be Mr. Right, but Mr. Right Now. A lot of times we approach dating like a chore, and it loses some of the fun that we are supposed to be having. Finding a #quarantinebae will also help you to ease into the world of online dating, making you more comfortable when you do meet the one for you.
One of Tera's biggest success stories was a woman who saw her on a TV appearance in Dallas and later ran into her at a restaurant. She shared some tips with her and in about 7 months, received a message from the woman letting her know that she got married to someone she met online thanks to Tera’s help!
Tera believes that online dating coaching services is her calling by helping women and men find their soulmates. She is certainly expecting more matches to come out of this Quarantine, and also because of her background in production, she's aiming for a show or podcast in the future. Most importantly, she wants to continue encouraging people to step outside their comfort zone because the love of your life lcould be in the places you've been avoiding...online.
If you need online dating coaching services, visit Tera's She Dates Savvy website for more information: https://www.shedatessavvy.com.