• Brettney Douglas-Al Hindi

Single In The City - What Self Love Looks Like on Valentine's Day

Updated: Feb 20, 2020

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, being single on this over-hyped “holiday” can be the drama-free blessing you didn’t know you needed. I know you're probably tired of the constant reminders of your singleness like it's a bad thing, but Queens, don't get caught up feeling sorry for yourself on this commercial celebration of love and romance.

While everyone else is stressing themselves out trying to find the perfect outfit or how to plan the perfect evening with their special someone’s, singles can let their hair down and slay the day on their own terms.

The odds really are in your favor, and all it takes is a change in perspective to see that you really are winning and to embrace this season that you are in.

Here’s a list of solo activities and things to do with your other single girlfriends:

1. Girls’ Night Out

Galentine’s Day is a relatively new trend where single or coupled women are celebrating friendship with their lady friends for some good ol’ fun and catching up. Depending on your group of girlfriends you can accomplish this in the form of a sleepover, brunch, shopping, paint night, go to a club/lounge, movie, and/or spa day. If you're feeling spontaneous and want to do something out-of-the-box, go to a local bar across town for some karaoke and sing for your life to some old school Destiny's Child or Xscape. Just make sure everyone has their harmonies in order and yall figure out who's gonna take the lead or hit the high notes so you don't embarrass yourselves (laughs). But seriously, go all out, dress to impress, and more importantly, have fun!

2. Gift exchange with your friends

Who doesn’t like gifts?! In my family, we call it a yanky swap. After your GNO, meet up and put everyone's name into a hat and have each person purchase a gift of let’s say $50 or less to be exchanged. Be creative. Treat your friends with a thoughtful present whether you buy a nice candle, gift card to their favorite restaurant, pay for them to get their hair/nails done, or surprise them with tickets to a comedy show or a play.

3. Take advantage of Valentine’s Day Deals

Everybody and their momma have deals during this time around, take advantage of it. Whether you need some retail therapy, want a nice three-course meal at a fancy restaurant for the low, or want discounted tickets for fun activities on Groupon (i.e. cooking class, or dance class), you’ll be sure to find something worthy of your coins.

4. Throw a dinner party

Host a grown and sexy, pot-luck style dinner party for you and your single friends with Valentine’s Day-themed libations, and a bomb 90’s R&B playlist. This could be a great opportunity for folks to mix and mingle with other singles and perhaps spark a connection, but don’t play matchmaker just let things happen organically. Set the tone before guests get there to take the pressure off yourself, and request that everyone brings positive vibes.

5. Me Time

Self-love is the best love. Take time to love on yourself and celebrate you for a change. Shower yourself with some uninterrupted alone time: set a beautiful ambiance with rose petals and candles, with some nice soft music playing in the background, order takeout, and binge watch some shows you’ve been meaning to catch up on or read a book. If that’s not your style, take yourself to dinner, go to the spa for a full-body hot stone massage or get a mani and pedi. Over-indulge. Unplug. Reconnect with yourself.

Whatever you choose to do for V-Day, be intentional, and make sure it's not at the expense of your mental/physical/emotional health. If you are not involved with anyone romantically, celebrate the platonic relationships you have in your life, and/or take it as a day to give yourself some extra TLC.

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