• Christina Dancy

Sis, You Deserve to Live Your Life… by Your Design

Many of us have been raised, persuaded, and often required to follow specific steps so that we (or other people) can live “a good life.” Our parents/elders often used their own life experiences, assumptions, and maybe even their fears to guide us in the right direction. They told us how we should live our lives. Either way, let’s assume they had good intentions and only wanted the best for us. However, let’s also consider that the world and the systems we live and operate within, i.e., family, religion, education, vocation, financial and relationships, change with each generation. So although our parents, for example, may have had more life experiences… and some more wisdom, what they wanted, expected, and often demanded our lives to be… may not have been the best direction for us.

Not only was our parents’ path for us possibly the wrong direction… it’s often in direct conflict with our own needs, wants, and desires. Determining our own needs, wants, and desires require personal experience and most 18-year-olds have no clue who they “want to be when they grow up.” So by default, we end up being influenced by our circumstances, our parents, our peers, other elders, and even entertainers. We often spend years trying to live for/like other people without considering that we have the power to design our lives the way that we see fit.

So here we are 20 years later, living life based on someone else’s vision or journey. Some are satisfied, yet unhappy or simply bored… at home, with work, and/or in life in general. While others are trying to break generational cycles and shift from surviving to thriving. Both have some awareness of what they want or need, but they are not sure why or how.

Can you relate? Are you experiencing similar feelings? Are you ready to start the journey of designing your life, but not sure of where to start?

If so, what’s your Why?…

Why do you want to live differently? Understanding and writing down your “Why” is fundamental in changing anything in your life.

Here are a few questions to consider while developing and cultivating your Why:

  • How is your why influenced by your past and current experiences?

  • Ask yourself why changes would be beneficial to you, and consider what the changes may cost you?

  • Consider what’s working and what’s not working in your life right now?

  • Do you need to finally “be and do you?”

  • Do you want to increase your Financial Well-being?

  • Maybe you desire to live a fulfilling life that also allows you to establish and leave a legacy. What does that look like?

What do you need, want, and desire?

The Design of Your Life is based on your needs, wants, and desires. All three may/will change throughout this journey, so be flexible, dream big, and be honest with yourself. Your self-interest is essential at this time, so make this all about you. When writing out each section, do it without judgment, critique, and or limitations. Once you have a pretty good list going (remember this is continuous), determine which area you want to start working on and set up a few (yes, a few) goals around it. However, to reach your goals, you may need to let go of what and/or who no longer serves you, so consider establishing and enforcing personal boundaries.

So what’s in it for you?

Visualize a life that enables you to...

  • work full-time from the sandy beaches of Hawaii

  • retire early, and live stress-free

  • make money while you sleep

  • rise every morning when your body is ready to, without an alarm clock

  • prioritize your mental and physical well-being

  • establish prosperous and thriving businesses

  • travel to beautiful destinations whenever you want

  • be of services to others without neglecting yourself

  • become a best-selling author

  • purchase or build a home that provides comfort, safety, joy, and tranquility

  • live debt-free

  • engage in joyful life experiences with your loved ones

These are only a few examples of what you can manifest by designing your life based on your needs, wants and, desires. No matter where you are in life at this current moment, you can live a joyful life of ease that you control. Picture a life that can provide a peaceful environment, financial abundance, generational wealth, and the freedom to just BE YOU.

Here’s how to get started…

Once you have established your why and have clarity about what your needs are, utilize the following tools to support your journey. This is not an exhaustive list... just a few things to get you started.

  • Plan and practice Self-Care

  • Believe your needs, wants, and desires are possible... and you deserve them

  • Practice mind-mapping to organize your thoughts, and ideas

  • Set S.M.A.R.T. (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely) goals

  • Cultivate healthy relationships with like-minded individuals

  • Ask for help and accountability... hire a Life Coach.

  • Invest in yourself... continue to learn and grow

  • Ignore the naysayers and leverage your supporters

  • Be creative and make it fun

  • Check out Set Boundaries Find Peace

Repeat as often as you need to, but don’t focus on perfection.

Remember, this is a journey... not a destination.

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