• Brettney Douglas-Al Hindi

WELLNESS WEDNESDAY: How To Spot When It's Time To Spring Clean Your Life

Updated: Mar 5, 2020

The trees are about to show us how lovely it is to let the dead things go”- Unknown

Before this new season/decade began, I promised myself that I would finally choose me, and be intentional about my personal growth and development; that I would let go of any excess baggage and cut ties with anything and anyone who no longer serves me.

As I reminded myself of what it means to "pack light," I began to blast one of my favorite songs, from one of my favorite artists.

Alexa, play "Bag lady" by Erykah Badu

Girl I know, sometimes it's hard and we can't let go Oh when someone hurts you oh so bad inside You can't deny it you can't stop crying So oh, oh, oh, if you start breathin' babe You won't believe it, it feels so much better, so much better baby Bag lady, let it go let it go let it go let it go oh - Bag Lady Lyrics

The art of letting go, like self-care, it looks different to everyone.

It can be as simple, or as complicated as you need it to be.

For some, it could be as easy as doing the big chop or trying a new hairstyle, for others, it could be a little more complex like resigning from a toxic work environment.

In my case, it meant building the courage to walk away from a codependent relationship with someone who means the world to me, after nearly 13 years of friendship.

But how do you know when something or someone has run its course?

Is it a feeling or a sudden realization that wakes you up in the middle of the night? Or maybe it's when everything comes undone and you have no other choice but to surrender? Either way, it’s necessary.

When you know, you know.

Some telltale signs will be:

It depletes you of energy, and no longer sparks joy

You don’t get that same excitement as you had before, and it becomes more of a hassle than an enjoyable experience. It requires extra effort and motivation that is taxing on your spirit and you constantly question whether it’s worth it.

Deep down, you know that you are settling

Your heart and mind are not on one accord, and you start second-guessing everything. You try to convince yourself why you should stay, and the pros and cons are not adding up. Your intuition starts telling you that something is not right.

It no longer has the same meaning to you that it had before

You don’t occupy your mind with it or spend too much time wondering about what-ifs. That thing or person does not feel like a loss and instead feels like a weight lifted off your shoulder and brings you peace. You may even wonder if it was just a distraction or if it really meant anything to you at all.

There’s no reciprocity

You find yourself in a position where it feels like you’re putting in more than you’re getting back. You begin to feel like all the time you have invested and sacrifices you have made goes unnoticed or is not appreciated. Even after multiple attempts of being patient and putting forth the effort, you still bare no fruit, and you begin to feel discouraged.

For some of us, all the red flags could be there and that still won’t be enough to move on.

It takes guts to walk away from our safety nets and to do something that goes against everything we thought we needed.

To propel ourselves forward, we must cut off any dead weight that is not aligned with our goals and purpose.

This pruning process is not an easy task, but it gives us the spiritual stamina to act from a place of wisdom, rather than emotion.

It helps us to be present, and clear-minded enough to evaluate the current climate of our lives and our attachments so that we can make room and create space for new opportunities that serve us.

Letting go is a radical act of freedom, and the purest form of self -love.

It’s deciding to no longer carry old mindsets and stepping outside of our comfort zone to become our best selves.

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